I wasn’t planning on writing about all this yet, but I feel that God wants to use our current challenges to encourage someone else. It would be for wrong motives and excuses if I didn’t share with you what is going on in our lives right now.

Just in case anyone reading this doesn’t know the history, in April of this year my husband and I found out we were pregnant. Then in May we were absolutely flabbergasted to learn there were twins inside my womb. (Didn’t see that one coming!) Click here to read the post I wrote about it. July brought us the news that we were being blessed with two baby girls. And now, just last week we received some news we weren’t exactly expecting either.

After the ultrasound at the appointment last week the doctor informed us that I had a shortened cervix. We learned that women can definitely go on to carry to a full-term pregnancy even with a thin cervix, but it definitely puts us at an even higher risk for pre-term labor and delivery, especially because I am carrying twins. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant.

The doctor is doing everything he can and will be monitoring me extra closely. The rest is a waiting game.

Another separate concern that we learned about was that Baby A’s growth rate, which was equal to that of her sister’s at the last appointment, seemed to have slowed over the previous four weeks. She measured in at 14 oz. while her sister was weighing 1 lb. 2 oz. (18 oz.). According to growth charts, that puts her about two weeks behind. The babies each have their own separate placenta so thankfully we do not have to worry that Baby B  is “stealing” from Baby A.

We will be going back in three weeks specifically to check on Baby A’s growth. Again, in the meantime, all that can be done is wait.

This news definitely forces us to process the possibility of circumstances in which no one ever hopes to find themselves. Things like pre-term labor, fighting for the lives of very tiny babies, life in the NICU for an unknown length of time, possibility of losing your children, etc.

After coming home from our appointment it wasn’t until a couple days later that God helped me realize that I had subconsciously started expecting the worst. I had not started completely living in fear, but I was definitely headed in that direction.

Since then the Lord has been showing me how this is simply an opportunity for me to grow in my capacity to trust Him. “Be very careful, then, how you live–not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity…” (Ephesians 5:15-16)

Instead of just seeing this as bad news, God has started changing my perspective. I am being reminded that these children in my womb were His from the beginning, and He’s got them. My worrying about something that could happen won’t help or change anything. Instead, I must make a stand in truth on their behalf. My ability to do so is rooted in my capacity to trust God.

As I have been challenged to go deeper in my trust of the Lord, I am finding that thankfulness follows.  I wrote in my journal, “I want to live thankful for each day. Thankful that no matter what happens, the Lord is working it for good. That opens my heart to be peaceful even in pre-term labor (if it comes to that), knowing that God will use it for great things.”

I can truly say that I have been living in a place of peace this week that doesn’t make logical sense.

The process of beginning to see our situation as an opportunity to grow in trust, has led to thankfulness, which in turn has led to an inexpressible peace.

“Bad” News → Opportunity → Trust → Thankfulness → Peace

“Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7)

I hope that if you are dealing with a hard life circumstance right now, no matter what it is, that maybe this will enable you to see it as an opportunity for God to work in your life. He is the God of turning hardship into blessing and ugly into beautiful… IF we are willing to surrender the control of our lives to Him. “Let Go, Let God!”

“Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.” (Psalm 34:8)

 

–Amanda