Have you ever felt like a fly?

You’re probably thinking, “Are you serious? One of those obnoxious things that fly around and around my house pooping on things for the span of it’s short life, with no apparent reason for living?”

I know, bizarre question. Seriously though,  a little while ago I was watching one of these obnoxious little pests and a revelation came to me.

These pests where a big part of my life this past summer, but definitely not in the form of any huge revelations up until this point. When my husband reads this, he is going to shake his head and laugh because he has watched me innumerable times this summer reach my wits end due to the apparent plague of flies that make it’s way into our house. These little guys have been the culprits for landing on my nose and waking me up before my alarm goes off in the morning, keeping me up at night with their buzzing as they circle the room, and making the continual offense of landing on things they aren’t supposed to in my kitchen!

This fly that inspired this revelation wasn’t doing any of those things. Rather as I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth before bed, it joined me and in typical fly-fashion began buzzing in circles. Without fail, it kept zooming straight into the mirror with an audible thump. It would bounce off, go back to it’s circles, and once again return to rap it’s little noggin on the mirror.

Trust me, my first thoughts regarding this particular fly were hardly inspiring. Instead, they looked more like this, “Glad my horse isn’t as ignorant as this thing when I’m training her.” Or, “You’d think after that hard of a rap again and again, the little thing would stop trying to fly in that direction.” And finally after the repetition of this fly’s antics became slightly annoying, my thoughts were more along the lines of: “HOW MANY TIMES IS THIS THING GOING TO SMACK INTO MY MIRROR?!?!”

Then I got to thinking, all that fly knew was that it looked like there was more space to buzz around in. Thus, it kept trying to fly in that direction because if it saw it, it must be there. It was too stubborn (or maybe in the fly’s case just lacked the cognitive ability) to consider that what it’s eyes were telling it could be a trick.

The revelation is this: Sometimes in life I tend to trust my eyes (or rather, the small perspective of the world that I personally possess) and my ability to plan the course of my life far too much. Things aren’t always as they appear.

Sometimes there are things I can see myself doing in the future. Often times these plans are motivated by really good intentions. I trick myself into believing (and acting) like my plans are definite and final, but every time I try to accomplish them, I get knocked back. It’s like running into a glass door or mirror that I didn’t see.

Have you ever experienced this?

It hurts, its hard, and its humbling. The question is have we learned from  our failures? Or do we, without pausing to consider another way forward, pick ourselves up and make the same mistake again and again and again…

For me “pausing to consider another way forward” means slowing down enough to be able to seek the face of my God because I have absolute confidence that if I “trust the Lord with all [my] heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all [my] ways submit to Him, [then] He will make [my] paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

Think about it, the world’s advice tells us to make our big plans and dreams and then spend our life chasing after them. They say if you get knocked down, just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and keep going.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe having dreams and goals is awesome. In fact, I have plenty myself. The difference is I believe that chasing after God is the number one priority in life, and if He comes first, the dreams and goals you hold onto (yes, you might have to let go of others) will fall in line with His direction for your life.

Look at this, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9) Note that we don’t get to choose whether or not God determines our steps. He is sovereign. BUT we do get to choose whether or not we want to walk in step with Him. “I know, O Lord, that a man’s life is not his own it is not for man to direct his steps” (Jeremiah 10:23)

My prayer is that I would be humble enough in heart that I could learn from this rather ridiculous fly. To often in the past my life has followed the flight pattern of that fly.

–Amanda